Earth-shattering noise, from the moment I wake up until I go to bed. Loud dreams, intrusive thoughts, real-world worries. I struggle on my day-to-day dealings with a world and a mind that won't shut up, and this makes life very, very difficult. Millions of people might feel just like that. Stress and ennui are not particularly special.
For a while, I tried to stay off-line as much as possible, I avoided social media like the plague and took refuge in my own private world of mind-numbing work, tea and books. It felt good sometimes, to not find myself idly scrolling through a comment section where bitter, butt-ugly specimens living in their mother's basement claimed to be persecuted and nearly-extinct members of the "master race." It was great to just escape from the nazification of society, from professional grifters spouting hate so loudly you cannot hear your soul begging for mercy.
So, yeah, it was soothing to hide from the noise.. Months later, though, I realised this disconnection was making me sink into a comfy bubble. I was not there for friends who lived far away from me. I was not aware of how much they were struggling. I was not present.
Still, I do not want this noise anymore.
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